


If You Want to Reach Me

by milesofworry



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:18:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4313631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofworry/pseuds/milesofworry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been a month. A month of running away from his family, from the city; a month of hiding and hoping that his friends would never find him. Ray didn’t think that  they would just forget him like that, and he expected them to chase after him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Want to Reach Me

Ray didn’t know how he had packed everything he needed so fast.

Maybe it was due to the heists that always went bad, or the way he had lived before he had joined the Fake AH.

But that didn’t matter now because he was leaving. After so many years of being part of the six man gang, he was leaving.

He was going to be long gone before anyone even realized that he was missing. He had to leave tonight so that no one asked him why he was packing everything that he could carry into one bag and getting rid of everything else.

He knew what he needed to do, so why was he still standing here, in the apartment that he had called his home?

His room was bare; clean. Like no one had even lived in it for years, like no one had even existed there in that small space that he spent nights and days in. He had cried in there, healed his body in there, woke up from nightmares in there, and made two best friends in there. He had grown to love that shitty little room.

He sighed, laid down on the bed, and looked up at the ceiling.

“Well, I can’t stay,” he said to himself. “I’ll just end up getting hurt like every other time.” He didn’t get a reply from the empty bedroom. “If I could, I would stay, but the way I feel will just get someone hurt. And I don’t want to be that person.”

He released another sigh and stood. Ray walked through the hallway into the kitchen; the plans for the heist that they had just pulled were still laid out on the counter.

And then he remembered all of the other heists that they all stayed up to plan together. The happy nights that the crew spent together, game nights, or just watching movies. He had felt like he was in a big family that was never going to separate. No one was going to grow up, leave the nest that Geoff had made.

Ray took in a deep breath, taking in all of the smells that made this place his home, and released it.

“It’ll be easier this way.”

As he walked into the living room, he was met with more memories. The nights that he would spend with Gavin and Michael flooded his mind. The pair would yell at him as they played games throughout the night. He had grown used to the anger that Michael held within him as the night progressed. Had learned that when it got too quiet, Gavin would ask ridiculously stupid questions.

He sat on the couch for a few moments, letting the memories flood through his mind until he reached the one that hurt him the most.

This memory was what was going to make him leave his family of six after being with them for most of his young life.

He pulled out a pen and a pad of paper, and began to write his goodbye note to his crew.

_You all must know by the time that you read this, I’m gone. There isn’t anything left in my room, and there isn’t anything in here that will remind you all of me. Except for this, which I hope Gavin or Michael will burn after reading._

_I just wanted you all to know that I am sorry that I had to leave like this. Like I did something wrong behind your backs, or just didn’t trust any of you guys. I didn’t. I didn’t break any rules that we made when this crew started, and I still won’t, even if I’m not a part of it._

_The truth is, I trust you guys too much, I think._

_Geoff. You’ve been like a better, cooler dad to me, thank you. Thank you for teaching me that I do have more of a future than just selling drugs on the streets. And that I’m actually a great sniper when you need me to be._

_Jack, Jesus Jack. You care too much. You take care of everyone and not enough of yourself sometimes. Thank you for granting me the happiness of being in this great family. You saved me more than you know you and Geoff both. I hope you never have to lose anyone in this group._

_Michael. You’re an asshole. That and you are one of my closest friends. I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone that gets that mad over losing Mario Kart. I don’t think that I’ll meet someone who is so in love with his best friend, that no one notices the looks you guys give each other. I won’t be able to find someone like you again Michael._

_Gavin, you’re a fucking idiot. I swear to god if you ask Geoff if you can have my room as soon as you figure out I’m gone, I will find you. I don’t know what to tell you exactly. I know I told you you're an annoying little asshole a lot, and you still are, but I guess I love how much of an asshole you really are. You and Michael, my two best friends._

 

Ray couldn’t help the fact that he was crying as he wrote the letter to his family. He didn’t want to leave, and he almost threw the pad away and put all of his belongings back into his room and curled back into his bed, but he remembered the reason he was leaving, and those blue eyes that made him weak.

He took in a deep breath, and continued to write.

_Ryan. I should have told you. I was going to tell you. I wanted to tell you so much that it actually physically hurt not to tell you. Ryan, god, Ryan. You are just. You are the reason I woke up every morning, and the reason I stayed here with the crew those first few weeks. I didn’t think I could ever trust you, what with your Mad King status. But I learned that you were actually sane, unless one of us was hurt. I found that underneath that mask that you always wear, you are one of the most kindhearted men that I have had the chance to meet. Maybe that was why I fell._

_Ryan, I should have told you before you got hurt trying to save me. I think that this is the reason I am leaving. Because, if I was ever kidnapped, or anything, you would go mad, and there would be no way to call you back._

_Ryan, I fell in love with you. I fell in love so fucking hard. I love you._

_I’m sorry everyone. Please don’t look for me._

_Goodbye._

_Ray._

 

By the time everyone would get home, he would be gone, and they wouldn’t find him. He made sure to cover his tracks. He left all of his vehicles in the garage, except for the one that he was using to leave, and even that one would be abandoned in the middle of the city, where he would find a new one to get out of the city in.

Ray looked back at the building that he had called his home for his life, and held back the tears that were threatening to spill out of his eyes.

\---

 

When they walked into the apartment, they were met with a silence that they did not expect.

They thought that they would hear any of the games that they owned playing on the tv, or the soft music that Ray liked.

They expected him to be home, just like they had planned the night before. He would be the one that got out of the fire most easy since he was just covering their backs as they did the messy work.

Geoff had given him the signal to go ahead and leave, and Gavin said goodbye to him and waved at the rooftop that he knew Ray was on. Michael called him an idiot for waving as they drove off.

Ryan and Jack had made sure that no one was following the lad in the helicopter that they had ‘borrowed’ from the airport. After they confirmed that he had no one tailing him, they helped the others escape.

So when they walked into the apartment, they all expected to get a warm welcome from Ray. Ray, who was always scared that no one would return to the apartment after the kind of heist that they had just successfully finished. Ray, who after celebrating their success, would boot up the closest gaming console and play into the night.

All that they were greeted with was silence.

Jack immediately told Gavin and Michael to check out the rest of the apartment while he and Geoff looked in the living room. Ryan followed them, promising to check the garages after they did a thorough sweep.

“There’s nothing in his room,” Gavin yelled to them, his voice panicked.

“All of his stuff is gone,” Michael yelled even louder, his voice sounding like he had already started to cry.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Geoff began to mutter, “Ray wouldn’t just leave like this. He would talk to us. I mean, I assume that he would talk to us. He always lets us know what he’s going to do before he does it.”

Jack nodded beside him and looked at the kitchen for any sign of any struggle or anything. Geoff went to look at Ray’s room with the lads.

Ryan stood in the living room, looking at the note, the letter, that Ray had left them.

And he read the words over and over again. He read them until Jack came to stand beside him, and read the letter with him.

It wasn’t until the man took the letter from him, that he realized that he was crying. Ryan Haywood was crying.

“He left because of me,” he whispered. Jack shook his head.

“Ryan, no don’t say that. He, he must of thought this all through,” Jack said. “He obviously did, since he was gone before we even got home. And I don’t think us just a spur of the moment thing. He didn’t decide to just take off.”

“Then why the fuck did he leave us like this?” Michael said, startling both men. “He didn’t say anything to me or Gavin. What the fuck is he thinking?”

Jack handed him the letter, and after a few moments, he saw what he expected. The lad’s eyes became red and filled with tears, and he began to call for Gavin. He showed up next to him within seconds.

“What, what is it Micoo?” Gavin asked his tone soothing. He wrapped his arms around the redhead and looked down at the letter that Michael held with shaking hands.

“What did you find?” Geoff asked Jack in a hushed tone as he watched the Brit read the letter.

“Ray left a letter saying goodbye,” he answered. “He explained why he left and that he did know we weren’t going to be home when he was leaving.”

“Why did he leave?”

“You’re going to want to read it, instead of hearing it from anyone else,” Gavin said, holding back a sob. As he handed the letter to Geoff, he looked at Ryan, and noticed the streaks of face paint going down his neck.

A few minutes passed as the older man read and re-read the letter that Ray had left for them. And after every minute passed, they all watched as more tears escaped his eyes. Geoff didn’t try to hold them back like Gavin and Jack were. He was letting go like Michael, who was shaking in Gavin’s arms, sobs coming out of his throat, and Ryan who sat on the couch, letting his grief run down his face.

“Does this mean-“

“Yeah, he had it all planned out apparently,” Jack said.

“He should of fucking said something,” Michael yelled. “It would have been fine! I mean look at how you assholes treat me and Gavin.”

“This is different boi,” Gavin said. “He thought that if he did get hurt, Ryan wouldn’t have been able to stop from hurting one of us.”

“He would of, he would of,” Michael sobbed. “Right?  Ryan? I’m right?”

The older man didn’t look up at the lad. He didn’t move at all. He stayed right where he was, and refused to answer anyone’s questions.

\---

 

Ray looked out at the ocean and let out a sigh. He remembered talking to Ryan and the rest of the gang about buying a beach house here, but they had never gotten around to it. It had been a sort of dream of his, to live there.

But that dream was replaced with finding and living with a family that he found and made himself.

And that dream was ruined by his stupid feelings.

It had been a month. A month of running away from his family, from the city; a month of hiding and hoping that his friends would never find him. Ray didn’t think that  they would just forget him like that, and he expected them to chase after him.

What he didn’t expect them to do was for them to live on like he had never been a part of the family that Geoff had made.

All that he saw when he returned to Los Santos was the blur of police cars, and the crew car speed away from them.

_So nothing had changed, he thought. I didn’t make them change anything; I didn’t cause any kind of breakup between them._

_Ryan looks good still._

 

The hotel he stayed at was small, one that no one would ever think to look into, or even look at. He knew it was there because of his time on the streets before Geoff found him. He had used it as a safe house once with Gavin and Michael. It wasn’t the best place to stay, but it worked.

He felt the loneliness that he had suppressed rear its annoying head. He had forgotten what it was like to not have someone guard his back on nights like this. Even though it had only been a month, he still wasn’t used to it.

Ray stared at the ceiling that was now familiar to him. He had been here for a week and all that he learned about the others was that they did not seem to be heartbroken or worried about him leaving at all.

For some odd reason, this bothered him. He had decided to leave, and expected some kind of reaction. But he was met instead with the realization that nothing had changed.

_I guess I was wrong. I shouldn’t have come back. God, why did I come back anyways?_

Because he fell asleep thinking of cold blue eyes every night. He had seen those blue eyes when he first reentered the city. But those eyes didn’t see him.

He didn't know how he fell asleep with those lingering thoughts, but he did because when he woke up, the sun was already up, and the people that were staying in the room next to his already had their tv on.

He didn’t want to get out of the bed, not that it was comfortable, but he had gotten used to it through the cold nights. He had to get out of bed. He really didn't have a choice since he wanted to get out of this city in a few hours.

Ray didn't have a thought as he picked up the trash that he had from the dinner he had bought the night before and the clothes that he had worn yesterday.

He made sure that there was no trace of him left in the room before he left. He had even changed his name just in case the crew had spotters looking for him and his name in the city. The sun was shining bright when he walked out of the room.

He figured that he really didn't need to leave the key in the front office,so he just slid it under the door. Ray had booked the room for a few days, so he wasn't worried about the fact that he wasn't going to return.

By the time he was in the middle of the city, he had found all of the information that he needed about his ex-crew.

They had been doing better than ever. The heists were more easily pulled off, and they didn't leave any trail for the cops to find.

Ryan hadn't even murdered anyone in the month that he had been missing. Which was enough to make him concerned in the slightest, but he forced himself not to be. The crew was at the top of the most wanted, and most dangerous, list that he had seen in the city.

They even had a spot open for a new member.

“If I had known that they would be doing this good,” Ray sighed, “I would of left earlier.”

He pulled out his laptop just to see if anything was updated on the crew. Ray sat at one of his favorite diners in the city. He remembered the time Gavin and Michael had went with him to see where he sometimes disappeared to on certain nights, and were surprised to find that he had been just going to this simple place.

The two had teased him during the time that they were there, and it was the most pleasant time that he had spent with them doing something normal.

He sighed again as his computer booted up.

“What can I get you sir?” the waiter that had snuck up on him asked. He jumped and looked up at the waiter and he felt his heart stop.

\---

The crew kept up appearances. They kept them up since Ray had left.

“He’ll come back, and if he sees that we’ve split up, he’ll be devastated,” Gavin had said after a week had passed.

“It doesn't feel right doing any of this without him though,” Jack told him. “We do have enough money to keep the houses and stuff, and we do need to look for him.”

“He left on his own, Jack,” Geoff reminded him. “I know everyone wants to find him, I want to be out there right now following every lead that I can find for him, but we need to keep our status. We’ve made it this far in the city, and we can't lose any of that.”

They had had this argument a dozen times since Ray had left, and the only ones who said anything were Gavin, Geoff and Jack. Michael and Ryan just sat through these meetings that they held every day, never saying anything even if someone asked them something.

But this time something was different, the argument was more heated than before, and Ryan was actually paying attention.

“I’m just saying that if he comes back to the city, Ray would be devastated that we arent ruling the city still,” Gavin said. “We can look for him in our spare time, between jobs.”

“Maybe he doesn't want us to look for him,” a deep voice that they hadn't heard since Ray had left resounded in the room. Everyone had turned towards him.

“What?” Gavin had squawked. “We have to find him. He’s family.” Ryan shrugged his shoulders and told him what they had all been thinking since he had disappeared.

“He left without talking to us. So that must mean that he doesn't want us to find him,” Ryan had said, his voice cold and uncaring. “If you want to keep up appearances, fine. But we can't waste time looking for someone that didn't even want to tell us what was going on. I dont want to have to say all of this, but it's the truth. I dont even know if I can stay here right now.” His voice had begun to shake then. He remembered what Ray had put in that letter, and his heart was shattering all over again. “There are too many reminders. Maybe we should just take a break from all of this.” He gestured to the living room and everyone. “This is really hard without him.”

“You never had him in the first place,” Michael whispered. Ryan looked up at him, hurt going across his face, then disappearing behind a flash of anger.

“You can't say that,” Ryan had almost yelled, but the reminder that Ray would flee the room when someone got too angry was the first thing in his mind, and his temper would immediately cooled. “You can not say that to me.”

“It’s the truth. Thats the only true thing that’s been said in the goddamn room,” Michael said. “And what Gavin said. Ray needs to know that we are doing okay without him so he doesn't feel guilty about leaving. Thats the one thing that we can do for him.”

“What about finding him?” Geoff asked, moving to sit down on the couch next to Michael. “I need to know that he’s okay.” Jack nodded, his shoulders tense. Ryan kept his eyes on the ground.

“We can look for him still, but we can't lose everything that we all worked for. I know that this is going to be hard, I know because he was my best friend. But I know he would not want us to lose sight of what we are,” Michael said, his voice loud and strong, different than it had been for that whole week. Gavin moved to stand beside him and grabbed his hand. “I know that either he will find his way back to us, or we will find him again. But I especially know that we are still a family. And we can get through this together.”

\---

Ryan wanted to take a break from everyone. Ray had been gone for three weeks and they had yet to hear any news about him. The crew had been doing more heists and been keeping their eyes on the smaller gangs, just to make sure that they weren't going to become a threat to them in this city that was slowly becoming theirs.

But Ryan wanted to take a break because they had gotten no where in the search for the sniper. It was the worst feeling knowing that Ray loved him. It was even worse that because of that love, he had left.

He needed a break.

“It’ll just be for a few weeks Geoff,” he was saying to the gent. “I promise to check in with you. We don’t have any heists planned yet. So I don't see why I can’t.”

“Because a few weeks turns into a month and then a month turns into a year and then we’ll never hear back from you just like-” He stopped and sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Anyways, we need you to help us find him.”

“I can’t help you find him if I don’t want to find him in the first place.”

Geoff stopped walking. “You dont want to find him?” Ryan nodded and looked at the ground, not wanting to look at the older man. “How can you not want to find him? I thought that you-”

“I do, but Geoff, you have to understand. We haven't found anything about him since he left. We have no news, we have no leads. There is nothing. Yes, we found his car, but he obviously had another one ready. He planned for all of this, Geoff. And I need a break. Hell you do too,” Ryan paused. “Everyone looks awful. Michael and Gavin are barely getting any sleep, and Jack is barely here at the house. Geoff, we need a break.”

The gent thought about what Ryan told him, and then nodded. He had known that his crew were under the weather, but he hadn’t put much thought into it.

“I’ll tell everyone to take a break. Just do whatever you want, but please, just check in with me.” Ryan nods and begins to walk to his room to grab just a few things. “Ryan, one thing. Call me if you hear anything”

\---

Ray stared up at those blue eyes that he knew like the back of his hand. And then he was moving, throwing his computer back into his bag, pulling his beanie back onto his head, pushing past the waiter that still stood beside his table.

His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, and he felt fear claw its way into his head.

“Ray?”  He heard that deep voice say. “Ray, wait!”

He couldn’t. He knew that it was a mistake, he shouldn't have come back, he shouldn't have come back to this city.

Ryan was following him.

He needed to get away right now.

But god that voice made his knees weak and slow and want to stay.

In the second that he thought that, he did. He slowed, and it was enough for Ryan to catch him in his grasp. His hand tightened around the younger man’s arm and pulled him to his chest.

Ray squeezed his eyes shut. His heart ached because this was the closest he had been to another person, to Ryan, in a month. He took a deep breath in smelling the natural scent that Ryan had, the smell of pine needles and wood smoke.

He felt like this was it; he was going to go back, re-join the crew and it was going to be just like before, when he was still there.

“What are you doing here?” he felt, more than heard, the older man say. His heart almost stopped, and the ache turned numb inside of him.

Ray lifted his head off of Ryan’s chest and started to tug his arm out of his grasp, muttering things under his breath.

“Ray, stop. Listen, I’m not letting you go without talking to you,” Ryan said. Ray shook his head, still trying to free himself. “Please, Ray. We’ve been looking for you this whole month. We barely take a break from looking for you.”

With that, Ray finally look up at him, stared at those blue eyes that he had fallen in love with as the years went by.

“What do you want to know?”

\---

Ryan had watched him come into the restaurant. Had watched him set up his laptop, get comfortable, say something to himself.

He had just simply watched him the whole time, and only when a few minutes passed, did he realize that he could talk to the younger man. So he went from behind the counter to Ray’s side.

And followed him outside when he looked up at him when he asked him what he wanted to eat.

He was surprised when Ray did slow, when he hesitated for a second. And he lunged forward and pulled him into his chest. Ryan expected Ray to fight against him, to try and get away.

He instead, pressed closer to the man, taking in his scent.

Ryan felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest.

“Call me if you hear anything.”

“What are you doing here?”

He hadn't meant to make it sound so harsh. Hadn’t meant to make the younger man shake his head multiple times, and push away from him. Hadn’t meant to make that heartbroken look go over that handsome face, with the scraggly beard that he insisted on growing, that he had fallen in love with.

He hadn’t meant on making him shake so hard that he could feel it from where his hands were holding onto him.

“Ray, Ray, calm down,” he said, fear in his tone. The younger man looked up at him with wide eyes. “

Ryan almost let go of him in that moment.

Ray’s eyes were empty, void of any of the happiness that he always had. And Ryan knew that he was the cause of it.

“I shouldnt of come back,” he heard Ray say. He closed his eyes, his heart beating fast in his chest, and the pain that he had refused to let himself feel since that first night came rushing back.

“Why did you leave without telling me?”

\---

Ray knew. God he knew that things would end up like this. That someone would see him and tell the crew. He knew that Ryan wouldn’t even feel a thing for him, not past the fucking feeling of stupid ass friendship.

He knew all of that. So why, why was he still standing here, with Ryan’s hands around him, those blue eyes looking at him in a way that he had never seen before.

“Why did you leave without telling me?”

The ache in his chest grew. He had tried to forget that he loved Ryan, that he had wanted to see him everyday, to wake up next to him, to laugh at his jokes.

But he couldn’t ever forget.

Just like he couldn't forget that Ryan had gotten himself hurt, almost killed in order to save him.

“If I had told you, you wouldn't have let me leave,” Ray answered, his eyes closing just like Ryan’s were. “It wouldn’t of mattered anyways. You don’t- you never would've wanted me anyways.” He felt Ryan tense. “Am I wrong? Would you of done me, and then left me? Fucked me and then told me that whatever it was that I had should be gone in the morning? Forgotten about it and go on?”

“I wouldn’t,” He heard the choked answer come from the older man. “I would, god Ray. Ray. You don’t even know how hard it was to not make you mine.”

Ray pulled away from the man, harder than before. He didn't want to hear this. He really didn't.

Because if he did, he wouldn't get to leave again, knowing that the older man wasn't going to jump in front of bullets to keep him safe.

“You want to know hard?” Ray asked, his words sharp, even in his ears. “Hard is looking at you every day and knowing that I love you. That I want to give my whole life to you. That I want to wake up next to you. That I would be happy just hearing your laugh and nothing else. Hard is leaving that dream behind.”

He looked at him, his blonde hair messy from the struggle that holding onto Ray was.

“It was hard, Ryan. Leaving was hard,” he sucked in a breath. “But knowing that I would be the cause of your death was even harder. I know you- I saw you jump in front of that cop that day. When I had no way out, and Geoff gave the order to get out of there. I would of been fine. You were safe. I knew you were safe because you weren’t with me.”

He was crying, tears running down his cheeks, Ryan’s arms pulling him close, so close, and Ray just didn't care anymore. He had to get this all out so he could move on.

“B-but there you were, guns blazing, killing everyone in sight. And then you went down Ryan. You, I-I couldn't breathe when you got hit, Ryan. I wouldn't of been able to live with myself if I knew I was the reason you died.” He sucked in deep breaths, trying to regain control of himself. “If you had died, I wouldn’t of gotten to tell you that I loved you. I would never see you again. And that, that was the reason I left. Because I knew that if I was gone, you wouldn’t do that ever again.”

“Ray,” Ryan whispered. “You didn’t-”

“Let me finish, please,” Ray cut him off. “I left for you, too. I know you Ryan. I’ve seen how you act when one of us got hurt, how you would go on a rampage. You have control on that side of you, but you’re only able to keep a lid on it for so long. I knew that if I told you, and you did-you did love me, if I told you, and I got hurt, there would be no chance of stopping you at all.”

Ryan was shaking his head. “I would of been able to control it. I would of protected you. I would of done everything that I could to keep you safe.”

Ray felt lips touch his forehead. He leaned his head back to to look at the older man, a question in his eyes. Ray felt Ryan’s heart pick up speed as he opened his mouth.  

“You should've told me before anything happened. In that moment, when you told us to go on, I didn't think twice. I knew what I was doing. I was trying to save you. If you had gotten captured I wouldn't of been able to tell you that I love you Ray.”

He felt his head spin and his knees go weak. Ryan’s arms were there for him though, to hold him up and close.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

\---

Ryan called Geoff. He told him what had happened. The man told him to stay where he was.

Ray told him he wasn’t sure if he wanted to meet with the whole crew yet.

Ryan held his hand and told him that it would be fine.

“I almost bought a beach house,” Ray told him as they sat inside of the cafe. Ryan looked over at him, his eyebrows raised. Ray blushed. “I remembered that we talked about it one night, buying a house there. I almost did, because you seemed really excited about it.”

Ryan knew that most of Ray’s decisions were based on how it would effect him. He understood, but god was it embarrasing.

“You should of,” he said as he took his hand. “We would of went away on the weekends.”

Now it was Ray’s turn to look surprised. Ryan chuckled. He turned to look out the window just as the other crew members pulled into the parking lot, the doors opening even before Geoff had stopped the car, Gavin flying out, hitting the pavement, Michael right behind him, running to the cafe doors. Jack and Geoff got out calmly, but Ryan could see the relief and excitement on their faces.

Michael had spotted them, and was waving, Gavin right behind him, a gleeful expression on their faces.

When he turned to Ray, he was met with a smile.

The youngest member was crying as everyone got closer, his lip wobbling as he saw his family again. Ryan felt a warmth spread throughout him from where his hand was grasping Ray’s, and he felt like laughing, relief and love washing over him.

Ray had stood as soon as the four made their way to the table, and was immediately engulfed in hugs and tears and “Don't ever do that again, kid” and “We missed you Ray” and “Gavin’s been annoying as fuck” and “We looked everywhere, but there wasn’t anything, don’t do that again, but please tell me how you erased everything about yourself.”

Ryan just stood to the side, watching everyone get their share, and hugs. He watched as Ray laughed at everything that everyone said, watched as Geoff, the dad of everyone, walked to him and wrapped his arms around him, tears running down his face as he whispered “I thought I would never see you again you little shit.” Ray had burst into tears then, tears Ryan knew that he had been holding back for that whole month.

Later, when they all returned, they showed Ray that the apartment was still the same as before, his room was the only one that no one had wanted to go into since it was terrifying empty.

Ray seemed reluctant to go back into that room.

“You can sleep with me,” Ryan said. Everyone’s eyes turned towards him, Jack’s smirk making him blush. “Until we get your stuff, and everything.” Ray turned toward and smiled the brightest smile that he had ever seen.

“I’d love to sleep with you,” he said. “No homo though.”

Michael and Gavin laughed as Ray started to turn away to go to the room.

Ryan’s hand shot out, pulling the younger man to him.

“All the homo,” he said as he pulled him close and closed the space between their lips.

\---

Ryan woke up later that night with Ray snuggled against his chest.

“I love you,” he said to the sleeping male. “I love you so much.”

“:I love you too, Rye,” Ray answered, kissing him again as they fell back asleep. “I won’t leave you again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally the longest thing that I've ever written, and posted. It took me three months to write it, and a few weeks for it to get edited. I'm super happy with how it turned out, and hope you enjoyed it. I'll start working on Here For You, Always as soon as I can. I do have more short one-shots coming up, so look out for those. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated. See you next time!


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